Inferior Imitator

ep·i·gone n. A second-rate imitator or follower, especially of an artist or a philosopher.

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Imagine thirty companies. Imagine that each of them has two checking accounts, and we have records going back to 1997. Now imagine tracing outstanding checks from month to month for each company for each account. That's what I did this week. Day in, day out. This is MIND-NUMBINGLY BORING! Why would you not cash a check? Why? It's money. And do you have any idea how many people do not cash checks? Neither did I, until I started doing this. There's millions of dollars sitting out there, lost. In Iowa, after three years - one year for paychecks - if you can't find the owner, you're supposed to turn the property over to the state so the state can find them. In the meantime, the state gets the use of the money and the interest earned off of it. No wonder the states want custody of this money. I searched on my name at the Great Iowa Treasure Hunt. No treasure for me. (Some of the other states have this, too, FYI) But the State of Iowa hired my firm to help it go audit companies to see if they have unclaimed property they're not reporting. Yay, us.

But the interesting thing I learned, is that legally, gift certificates do not have expiration dates. If they go unclaimed, the store is supposed to report it to the state as unclaimed property. So if I go into a store with an expired gift certificate and they won't take it, I'll just say, "Fine. I'll wait three years until you report it to the state as unclaimed property and claim it then. And if you don't, I'll report your ass and the state will put you on its list to be audited." Audited. What a great word. Strikes fear into the hearts of the most stalwart.

And a HUGE congratulations to Josh for placing first in forms and third in sparring at Nationals. I'm so proud! The poor guy did not go unscathed, though. He took a spin hook kick to the head. His right eye is all swollen and purple and blue and the whole side of his face is yellow. It hurts me just looking at it. But [woohoo] for placing!

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