I didn't go over, because I had no idea if he was home yet or not. I left my truck out and my front door open, so he would know I was home, when he came home or if he bothered to look outside. Maybe I should have gone over, just to ask if he was home yet, but I really felt like it was his responsibility to come find me, since he was supposed to call and didn't and how the hell was I supposed to know he was home and if he was, was he ready to talk to me?
You guys know I'm a pretty easy-going person. It takes a lot to faze me. I'm angry. I'm pissed and upset and hurt and I'm angry.
I expected the hurt of him leaving or the hurt of his disappointment. I didn't expect the hurt of him not telling me or not wanting to see me when he got home. I know he's going through a lot right now, but I don't think it's too much to expect for him to be considerate of my feelings. All I needed was a "Hi, I'm home, I got the job/I didn't get the job, I will talk to you about it at such-and-such a time in the future." I am easily placated. Just take the fucking time to do it.
I didn't want to be angry. I wanted to be supportive and understanding. I wanted to be there for him, whichever way things turned out, and he knew that. It makes me feel like, "My support must not mean that much to you, so why should I bother?"
It will probably only take hearing his side of the story for this to blow over, but for now, I don't seem to be important enough to be told anything.
posted by Amanda @ 10:34 AM
4 Antiphon:
Most guys wouldn't get subtle clues that you left, so don't take it personally. He probably didn't get the job or he would have told you and everyone right away.
He is probably in his "cave" mentally or physically. Men do this: They go into their "cave" to plot their next move or find a solution to their problem. Right now he is pretty much oblivious to any short of a tactical nuke. When he finds his answers he will come and share, but Don't push if he is still working on his thoughts. Yeah... I know it sucks but that's the way it is.
Best thing you could do is just be a friend, share a pizza, sit with him and watch nascar or something, whatever.
If he's upset, at least he could have told you "I didn't get the job, but I really don't want to talk about it now, and I need some time to be alone and mope".
So I'm with you- I'd be pissed and hurt too. Especially after your little pep gifts.
Hugs
Helen
Ok, gonna play devil's advocate now cuz I think some one should. If I had myself psyched for a job that I really wanted and was qualified for, which I understandhe was, correct? Anyway if I was super excited about that and didnt get it, I really wouldnt want to see anyone. When i get upset, i like to hide from all human contact until I am ready to face the world again. Partly for my own weing being and partly for every one else's. Now let's look at the other hand. Let's say that I went for a job that I really wanted two weeks ago (enter in whatever timespan you want) Since that time I have met this wonderful person, whom I did not know existed until now. I still really want that job cuz it is so great, but so is she. So get the job. Now I have to tell this person that I am leaving. That's hard and kinda scary. No matter how he acted before, he might not be ready to cause you that pain. It's a lot easier to say good-bye if you know the other person is mad at you. Take it from experience.
no matter how cool or calm or uneasily fazed a woman normally is, if you really really like a guy but are missing some crucial information, we all starting doing the worst case scenario thing, worst case being he-doesnt-like-me-as-much-as-i-like-him. fortunately, when you start feeling that way about a really great guy, he usually finds a way (in his own time) to prove how utterly wrong you were about him not worshiping you.
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