Trading Spaces, Here I Come

I am now a home improvement junkie. The great majority of my weekend was spent working on the apartment and endeavors related to working on the apartment. Saturday my whole family came over to help work. Of course, it rained, so no painting got done, but so much did get done that I don't care. The apartment now has six brand-spanking new outlets (in convienent places, like not-the-ceiling!), a circuit box, a place to put a stove, new insulation, a sink in the bathroom, and a hole for a heating/air conditioning unit. The unit will come later, and the old air conditioner will come out of the bathroom window. Hopefully the window still works. Cross your fingers.

I spent the majority of yesterday on a two foot ladder with my arms above my head, but I am now a patching expert. We took down the 70's style decorative wood beams and the trim where the sloped ceilings met the flat part of the ceiling. Behind that trim were gaping holes where all the heat was disappearing. So I learned how to patch holes. I still have to do a couple more layers, but I did a pretty good job on the first go-round. Taking down the beams really opened up the space. I'm going to take a look at my patching job after the paint goes up and see if I really even need to replace that trim. I think it will help make the space look bigger if it's not there.

While the guys worked on wiring and stuff, the rest of the family cleaned out my lawn. We hauled away an entire truck load of yard waste. I still have to dig up a bunch of day lilies, but I can tell already that things will be looking better. Aunt Judy had a whole bunch of great ideas floating about for things I could do with the lawn, so I'm very excited about that.

Things are coming together. The ownership I feel, improving the property, making things better...I feel so proud. Homeownership, with all it's pitfalls and hard work, is worth it. I'm taking something and making it better, more eyepleasing, more livable, more of a place to call home. I can't wait to start on the downstairs.


I did not see Mike very much this weekend. I did go over for the 4th of July after I worked on the church books (for six hours!). We went to his aunt's for grilling, and then watched fireworks from his mom's house. You could see both Coralville's and Iowa City's, as well as some at Hills, West Liberty, West Branch and Tiffin. I didn't know where to look at times. It was pretty cool.

Since I've met him, Mike has been letting his anger and frustration take over his life more and more. He doesn't even seem to want to try anymore. I don't understand it, and being with him is harder because of it. I still care about him so much, and to see him like this hurts. He leaves for Wyoming a week from tomorrow. I have so much to say to him, but I don't know how to say it. I've tried writing it down, to get my thoughts in order, but the time never seems right.

I've accepted it, though. I will cry, and I will miss him, but he needs to leave. I hope that one day I will know him as a happier person, because I saw it, at the beginning. I've got my shit together, and he doesn't. It's not entirely his fault, but he's got some things to do before he's the person I need in my life. This could have been something. I saw it, and I had it for one shining moment.

"One dream in my heart
One love to be living for
One life to be living for
This nearly was mine.

One [guy] for my dreams
One partner in paradise
This promise of paradise
Once nearly was mine.

Close to my heart [h]e came
Only to fly away
Only to fly as day flies from moonlight

I'll keep remembering kisses
From lips I've never owned
And all the lovely adventures
That we have never known

Now, now I'm alone
Still dreaming of paradise
Still saying that paradise
Once nearly was mine."