I am auditing a nursing home this week. As I walk the halls, I see people in various stages of lethargy and I contemplate my own mortality. I hear the 'activities' going on in the rec room nearby: what kind of existence is it when all you have to look forward to are Bingo, sing-alongs and the occasional visitor? And death. As much as spending my days watching television and lounging in bed appeal to me right now, I know I get bored of it quickly.
My grandmother, who will turn 94 next month, finally moved into a nursing home a couple of weeks ago. My Aunt Carol has been taking care of her, and it's gotten to be too much for her as grandma loses more and more of her mobility in interest in the things that are going on around her.
I don't want to grow that old. Sometimes I wonder if it would be so bad, to be diagnosed with leukemia at 50 and know you will live another 15-20 years, and you won't have to live out how many days, months or years in a nursing home. Me, I think I'd like to go out in a blaze of glory at 80. A bungee jumping malfunction or a spectacular motorcycle accident.
Quality of years is way more important than quantity of years, I think. No one wants to live out the rest of their lives like that. It makes me feel so sad, that all these women (and they're mostly women) have lost most of the people in their lives: their friends, their husbands, their parents and aunts and uncles and cousins and most of the people they grew up with. And now they play hangman and do crafts and the highlight of the month is when the little kids come and sing to them.
Why does it matter, indeed. If it ends up like this, why does it matter.
posted by Amanda @ 8:52 PM
3 Antiphon:
It's not about reaching somewhere, it's the trip along the way. I'll bet they've all had some wonderful times with their loved ones, seen and done things.
But yes- thinking about it, I dread the thought of being stuck in a home, with organised OAP activities, home food and occasional visits. No thank you. One thing to make it sweeter would be being allowed a pet- I think the Cinnamon Trust is the name of a charity that campaigns for elderly people to keep their pets with them when they have to move into a home- so they don't lose their pet as well as independence, and have some company etc.
Helen
I think about this all the time scince seeing my grandmother in a home. She died at 87 and in alot of pain. I never want that to happen to me. I figure I'll retire in 25 years , then go be a bum In Mexico or Key West. Die on the beach, and not be a burden to my kids or wife. I figure she will be around for 40 to 50 years after me. ( All of her relatives have died in their late 9O's. ) Modern Technology will probably keep her alive until she is 110. If she takes care of your self I bet 130 is in reach.
I think you're right Kristen. It's not old age that I'm afraid of, it's incapacitation.
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