I'm starting to panic. I've got all this stuff to do before we leave on Saturday, and I only just did the first thing off my list just now (filled out the request to have my mail held). If I can get my shopping done tonight, I might feel better. I need jeans, a camera, a book, snacks...and oh my god, what am I going to wear? I don't have any casual clothes anymore, I even have only one pair of jeans that decent for wearing in public. Thus, the buying. Plus, Alaska is too cold to wear tank tops, which is the bulk of my summer casual wear. What about footwear? Can I wear flip flops? Otherwise, I have tennis shoes. Everything else is strappy sandals with cute little heels and completely inappropriate for walking. Then if I go out and buy a bunch of stuff, it's kinda pointless because I won't be able to wear it very much afterwards. Poop.
And then I start feeling guilty for agonizing over these trivial little things, when I'm supposed to be in mourning. And there will be a visitation and a funeral, and that takes out another evening for time to get things done. But at least I get to go to the funeral. It would have been upsetting if she'd held on a few days longer and the funeral would have been when Lew and I were gone. Which also feels morbid for being glad she died sooner rather than later. Yes, she was in pain and it was better that she doesn't have to suffer anymore, but it still feels horrible to be glad for such a trivial and selfish reason.
Death inspires such conflicting feelings for those of us left behind.
posted by Amanda @ 12:35 PM
4 Antiphon:
Being glad that someone has passed away and is no longer in pain is not a bad thing at all. I'd feel exactly the same way. My Grampy died slowly of cancer, and I was furious for every day he was suffering. Of course I mourned hi death, but I was just relieved he was at peace at last.
~CosmicAvatar
p.s. Don't panic! You'll work it out.
Ok, HERE WE GO. Flip flops are fine if you want to bring some along. I wear mine all the time. But I am used to it so your toes might get cold. But it might be nice to have a slip on pair for the back yard and so on. Tennis shoes are best. I have a washer and dryer so if you are that worried about one pair of jeans we can wash them. Old ones are better for kayaking and camping anyway. You dont want to get fish guts on your ONE nice pair of jeans. You only need food for the plane on the way here. So no biggie there. We do have a grocery store here! :) Bring a couple sweatshirts. It has been chilly lately, but just like Iowa, next week could be horrible hot so you might want to throw in a tank top just so you have it. And a light jacket for rain. Its that time of year. Have some warm pants for camping, you'll want them. Anything else you want to know just call. Leave rom for suveniers and stuff too!
Actually I was putting away my laundry last night and I have like ten sweatshirts so you wouldnt even need to bring one. Theyt take up a lot of room.
Would you like to borrow I am Charlotte Simmions?
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