So that's it. I'm the last cousin of marriagable age to be single. My cousin Rachael got married today. Shawn took her last name. As I understand it, he's had several last names now, and the one he has now doesn't mean so much to him. Rachael's last name had more meaning to him, so he's changing his name to hers. I like that.

Cassie, well-meaning as she is, kept trying to point out single guys to me. I love her to death, but the first thing you do if you want to upset me is to try and force me into something. I know I'm single, and right now, I like it that way. I asked her, "What, don't you think I'm happy?" Which I'm not, but that's a whole other kettle of wax, and besides, she doesn't know that. That made her think twice.

I made a comment in passing last night at the rehearsal dinner when the boys were running around and screaming in an enclosed space and the girls were crying for one reason or another - "Man, I'm glad I don't have kids." Lew said, "Mom isn't." What? This is news to me. Mom has never mentioned this to me, which is a good thing, because see above, but it upsets me all the same. I don't know if I want kids, and for sure I don't want one now. The thought has crossed my mind, what it would be like if I wanted to adopt or an alternative. But single parenthood is definitely not in the cards for me, and definitely not what Mom is thinking, either.

I just need them to leave me alone about this. I can't give them a reason. How does one explain that you've given your heart away to someone who doesn't know he has it, and you don't know how to get it back?