My friend Ken has often discussed the differences between men and women in his blog. (Check out The Dark Mirror on my Friends list below.) Men don't understand women, and women only think they understand men. I wonder, really, how we expect to understand the opposite sex when it's so hard to understand yourself.
How do you reconcile when there is a glaring difference between your head and your heart? When your head says one thing, but your heart refuses to listen? I wouldn't blame anyone for getting mixed signals from me right now. I don't have any idea what I want, let alone what I need.
I'm usually a pretty good judge of human behavior. I've been told I'd make a decent Dear Abby. But when it comes to my own emotions, I'm just as in the dark as anyone else. I think and I think and I spend too much time playing what-if games. It would be so much easier if I just didn't care. The cost/benefit analysis keeps tipping toward the cost side, but that doesn't matter to my heart. My heart wants the benefits, no matter what the cost. Then it when it finally has to pay, it can't. My head knows what's going on. Why can't my heart listen?
posted by Amanda @ 12:13 PM
5 Antiphon:
Good point. Then again, I find it easier to suss out other people, because I'm less biased. When it omes to analysing me, I'm too close and find it hard.
I think. Maybe. Now I'm confoosed.
Callie
Hey Manda!
Long time, no talk, eh? Just popped into say hi,so HI! I won't act like I have any idea what you're talking about, but I might as well add my two cents, just to be that way...
As you probably know, I try to think as little as possible (so far, it's working:) but I do always have that off-day when my head is telling me one thing and my heart is screaming another. It's confusing, but don't think for a minute that you're the only one. We all go through it. Even those who are only 14 and don't really know what life is yet.
Always remember that you have your family here for you no matter what. See you on Thanksgiving? awesome!
Love Ya,
Nicole
I just recently had to make one of the biggest decisions of my life - and my head and heart were completely at war. In the end, my heart won.
What I really want to say here is that... I totally understood every word of your entry. And yes, even when you're good at seeing the truth and best direction in others' situations, it's so much harder to decipher when you're actually in the middle of it.
And the thing that makes it worst is that most often the choice to go with your heart has the best rewards if it turns out right, but hurts the worst if it doesnt. Good luck with your battle. I'm here for you which ever way it turns out for you, I hoipe you remember that.
Know what you mean. Objectivity is hardest applied to oneself. If your head and your heart are having a fight with each other, go with your intuition. It's amazing how often that feeling wins out when logic and emotion get on top of one.
(I was going to say gut, then realized that was taking the internal organ analogy a bit too far, don't you think?)
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