I wonder if I have any readers left?

It's just really hard to get movtivated to post anything anymore. I feel like I'm running in one of those hamster wheels...going, going, going, but not getting anywhere. I'm taking today off, though. I worked rather late last night to try and stay on track to make my hours this month, and this will be my second day off this month. There are times when I am my father's daughter.

So today I am going to get my hair done. My bangs are reaching the end of my nose, and having been driving me bananas for the past two weeks. I thought about growing them out, since I'm halfway there already, but I'm not ready to change the hairstyle, yet.

Then Mom and Dad are going to meet me, and we're going to HuHot to eat. They missed me. :) Although it made me have to get up early this morning so I could come into church to do the books, since that desperately needed done, too. That's the worst thing about being Treasurer, taking a day off to do what needs done, and part of that being accounting work. But it means I have a few minutes before church starts, and I update my blog!

Hopefully I'll have a few hours this evening to relax. I'm almost done with laundry, too, and I ran last night, so there's nothing to feel guilty about. Yay!

I'm still alive. Just really tired. I'm taking tomorrow off (except for needing to do church books), so hopefully that will help immensely.

I'll run back to Sunday, when I went to see Death of a Salesman:

It was as good as I thought it would be. Ron's got to be the best Willie Loman I've seen. I cried. It just breaks your heart to see a man work so hard his whole life to have it come to nothing. Or at least he feels it came to nothing. I remember studying the play for some Lit class - maybe it was high school - Em, do you remember studying it? It wasn't nearly so poignant then as it is now. I guess it's because I'm coming to a point in my life where I'm wondering if I'm chasing after the wrong dream.

I've got a good life. I've got an incredible family, a great job, and I'm making really good money. But it's not how I wanted it. I feel like a spoiled brat for being ungrateful and feeling like I deserve something else. I don't want to come to the end of my life and ask what it was all for. Life is a series of goals and accomplishments. You have to have both: you can't have purpose without hope and you can't have hope without purpose.

When my grandpa died, my biggest comfort was that I could see him living on through his family and their love for him. Knowing I might not ever have that as my legacy puts a damper on all the other great things I have going for me. Willie didn't die the death of a salesman. What will I die as?