Three months picture:




Awww! This picture makes me squee.

I'm so happy it's Friday! I have an entire weekend with only non-stressful things planned: a workout, a little laundry, grade multiple-choice test, help Josh and Chelsea clean their apartment for moving out, dinner with same, and lots of leisure time available. Leisure time has been in short supply of late.

I assume that the fact that my two best friends are moving out of state hasn't hit me yet. Last time Josh moved out of the state, I was devastated. I'm going to miss them both very much, but I'm not upset yet. Not having them around will mean a lot of changes for me, and I'm half dreading, half looking forward to them.

In the meantime, onward weekend!

I haven't been posting nearly enough baby pictures lately:

I think for the foreseeable future, you can just assume I'm sore. Just assume it, and I won't complain anymore.

Spent 12 hours grading tests Saturday, and I don't know where yesterday went. I went to church and mowed the lawn and watched Dr. Horrible one last time before it wasn't free anymore, and the rest of the day was a blur.

This is the last week of class. One lecture, one final - all multiple choice. Someone was thinking when they mandated this test. But the thing I don't like about it is what makes grading difficult - no leeway, no partial credit. At least if I can see where you went wrong, I can give you some credit if I see you understand the underlying principles.

Work will suck this week, too. But if I can get these audits off my desk, I can start working on the more fun stuff.

I think it's time for the obligatory "look how much my pants don't fit anymore" picture.



I'm having a difficult time keeping them up anymore, even with a belt. The waist on my pants fits well around my hips. I'm going to have to break down and buy some new pairs of dress slacks.

Part of me doesn't quite believe the weight loss is real, and that one of these days I'll wake up overweight again. That's the part that doesn't want to spend money on new pants.

ETA: 20 pounds so far, soley thanks to Seattle Sutton. I've been oscillating between 150-155 this week, as I'm still working out calories to be eaten with the exercise I'm doing now.

I'm pissed and I'm embarrassed and I'm upset and I'm not sure I want to be posting about this at all, but I've got to get it out of my head and this is the best way I know how to do it.

A couple weeks ago, I met a guy. Friend of a friend, sparks flew, kiss at the end of the night. Cut to where I find out he's married.

I'm feeling stupid, because now that I think on it, I did see a ring, but either it didn't register or I discounted it because he was speaking and acting very un-married. But mostly I'm really pissed, because obviously I would have cut the flirting off if I had known.

What upsets me the most is that he made me party to his unfaithfulness to his wife. It doesn't matter to me that I did it in ignorance; in fact, it makes it that much worse. Without my consent, I became something I never wanted to be, and that makes me feel violated. As the anger is fading, I'm starting to feel sick.

However much I tell myself to put the blame where it belongs, some of the guilt will stay with me. I become a little more cynical, a little less trusting, and I lose a little bit of something that I liked about myself. And it'll be just that much more difficult for the nice guy when he comes along.

Damn it.

I hurt. I've been walking around all day like I have rheumatoid arthritis, but it's mostly because my quads don't stretch right now. I'm thinking I might have to wait until Wednesday morning to go back. Tomorrow morning might be too soon, and tomorrow night I'm meeting with my financial planner.

I had my yearly evaluation today, which went pretty well. My raise was a lot higher than I expected, which was nice, considering how nervous I was with locking into a higher mortgage payment with refinancing. When I bought the house, I only had about 3% down, so I wasn't eligible for a fixed rate and I signed up for an ARM. Dad has been worried about me ever since, so this will be a load off his mind as well as mine. I've been going along for the past five years at 5%, and it was going to reset next June. Rates are about as low as I think they're going to go, so I snapped up the 6.25%, which is the same rate I'm paying on my second mortgage, and still lower than what I think the ARM would have reset to. I'm shaving six years off my loan with the higher payment, too, to make up for the higher rate.

In other geeky news, I was way too excited about being able to incorporate the Fannie Mae/Freddy Mac situation into my lecture today on debt and off-balance sheet obligations, and how the whole debacle was set off by a draft of a new accounting pronouncement by the Financial Accounting Standards Board. Way too excited.

Also, spent my lunch break re-jiggering my budget. Free time, how I spend thee...let me count the fiscal responsibilities.

I'm thinking about joining a gym. I went to a ribbon cutting for Fit2Live Gym yesterday, and decided today to go to a workout and try it out. I've been thinking that I need to supplement my TKD workouts with something that incorporates strength training, and I like the philosophy behind this place.

I got a really good workout, but unfortunately, I marked the return of heat issues. It took me almost 45 minutes to shake off the dizziness this time. No throwing up or headache so far this evening, so that's good, but I don't like that I had such a difficult time. It may be a factor that I haven't had a good workout since May, but I've never had dizziness like I had this time. I thought I had it figured out by quitting the birth control, but maybe not. I'll have to keep going to be sure it's not a fluke.

Poor trainer. He felt so bad for pushing me hard. I had to explain my whole history, in hopes he wouldn't feel responsible.

We took a train down to "Everything is shittier in" Whittier (nicknamed thus because as the world's northernmost rainforest area, precipitation is abundant). The only way to get there is a mile-long tunnel through a mountain. On one side it was sunny and beautiful, on the other it was overcast and chilly. The purpose of this trip was a glacier cruise of the Prince William Sound, pictures of which will be coming next post. The trip had great views all its own.

Mom found it in the station gift shop, and couldn't resist.


Typical picture expressions of both of them, I'm afraid. :)


A Dall sheep, the kind that live on the side of sheer mountains.


Stylin'!


I loved the way the mountains reflected in the water of the Turnagain.


More mountain beauty. It was really interesting to get a close up look at the snow that dropped all the way down the mountain. It was completely mixed with debris, which is why it hadn't melted, but it didn't look all that dirty from far away.

Look at this!

An independent research organization found that most name brand sunscreens are basically crap. The stuff my dermatologist recommended to me? A 7 out of 10 (0 is the best). I knew I didn't like that guy.

I'm going out and buying new sunscreen.

Sunday was Hayden's christening.



The gown turned out well, althought I wish I had made it longer (even though that part was soooo boring), and my stitches at the neck and chest were too tight, so it didn't go over his head very well. It did turn out beautifully, though.